Rules of Nest
by Chikoshika101
Summary: Now y'all know I'm not one for rules, but Prowler's been getting antsy about me looking over some of Galloway's old rules. Pffft. Not gonna do it. Rather make up a whole new bunch. Which he is now making me do. Great. See kids, this is where sarcasm gets you in life. Stay in school. AU OCXPOPULAR OPINION


**An: Hey guys, I'm back! I started writing this to start challenging myself and maybe get rid of some writer's block I've been having. Decided to jump on the bandwagon, you know? DOING GUESS THE REFERENCE THIS CHAPTER.**

**Okay, you guys know the drill for these things. Give me some suggestions, pointers, etc. Also, if you want to see a rule, put it in a review! I'll take anonymouss, as long as you give a fake name! All right? LET'S GO!**

**I DO NOT OWN TRANSFORMERS.**

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><p>Now let's get one thing straight. For the last ten years, I've been nothing short of a super nanny. I don't have any powers, unless you count being good with people. Until a few months ago, I was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, which worked closely with Sector 7. I wasn't part of a department per say, more like a group. I was a Nanny Agent, assigned to escort only the greatest of heros. The Avengers after Coulson 'died', the X-Men, . Went on a date with Danny Rand, otherwise known as The Iron Fist of Heros-for-Hire. I've even played bodyguard for a group of too young diplomats who argued too much. The german was cute though. During the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D, I took a bullet to the shoulder, making me useless to anyone who'd want a bodyguard for their kid, seeing as I was pretty much jobless.I flopped around like a fish out of water for awhile, trying to get my barings in this horrible market. I'd had a steady job for ten years and most weren't look to hire a thirty-three year old with my credentials. Finally, I was scooped up and tossed back in to a job as a back up liason for a group called N.E.S.T. I'd be working as a go between the goverment and the group, which worked for the goverment, so didn't really need a liason. I didn't question it at the time, instead I relished getting a paycheck again.<p>

It didn't take long for it to be my turn as babysitter, because Liason really is just a fancy way to say it. The only difference is now I have more paperwork to not do. Katherine Victoria Woodward does not do that shit unless she's forced to. Like now for instance. Damn cop. Sure, just give me more shit to do. I'm not busy or anything, trying to run a secret military base all by myself because you drove Galloway insane. Not that I mind, he gave me the creeps. Prowler's been insisting I rewrite the rules said straight jacket man wrote. I just tossed the thing and decided to redo the whole fucking thing. Okay, wish me luck.

Rule #1. When meeting your new liason for the first time, do not under ANY circumstance growl for no reason and transform like we're being attacked just to scare them.

(Ironhide, you're an asshole.)

(Ironhide: Hehehe.)

Rule #2. Keep your Holoform as attractive as you wish it to be.

(Trust me, I don't mind. At all.)

Rule #3. Don't make fun of my accent.

(Twins major and minor, Ironhide, Bumblebee, and Jazz. That's just the 'bots.)

Rule #4. It is indeed hilarious to stuff popcorn kernels into Ironhide's guns while he's in recharge, but only if you're across and/or off base before he figures it out.

(Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and me for 'accidentally' giving them the idea.)

(Sideswipe: Thanks for covering Kathy.)

(Yeah, yeah. You're welcome.)

Rule #5. No protesting via daily food fights or you will be the ones cleaning it up.

(I know thats all it's good for, I'm working on it I swear.)

Rule #6. You must wear your full uniform to formation, I don't care if it was Vodka Night at your favorite bar the night before.

(Lennox: But Kaaaattthhhyyy!~)

(No Will!)

Rule #7. No more ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

(We live in the middle of the Nevada Desert. It's september. I'm proud that you guys are donating to charity and raising awareness, but seriously.)

Rule #8. DON'T BLOW UP THE OBSTACLE COURSE!

(Damn it Ironhide, not again!)

(Ironhide: What now?)

(Why would you do that!? We're on a budget you moron!)

(Ironhide: Watch it red...)

(You know what?... I'm telling Prime.)

(Ironhide: HEY!)'

Rule #9. Optimus Prime is the overworked Dad on base.

(Everyone tells on eachother.)

(Sunstreaker: Optimus! Sideswipe scratched my paint!)

(Sideswipe: I DID NOT!)

(Sunstreaker: DID TOO!)

(Sideswipe: DID NOT!)

(Optimus:... *sigh*...)

(Case and Point.)

Rule #10 Disney movies are to be watched only behind closed doors, unless given express permission.

(I can only sit through so much of "Let it go" and "Make a Man out of You" before I start singin' and no one wants that.)

Rule #11 Any neutrals, despite previous alliances and ranks, shall be welcomed on base after thorough questioning and temporary consfication of all weapons.

(I am required by DA LAW to have one serious rule.)

(Prowl: Don't call me that.)

(I outrank you. Shut up.)

Rule #12 Unless it is an emergency, the Comm System is to be used by officers only.

(_I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS! TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST, TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAAAAUUUUSSSEE!_)

(Miles, Sam, and Leo.)

(Leo is not a good singer. At all. Worse than me, even.)

Rule #13. Please inform all new arrivals of the crushable aspects of the human race.

(Sunny tried to step on me. Thought I was Earth's version of an insect. Glitch.)

(Red Alert accused me of being a spy for the Decepticons in under five minutes of my arrival. We hadn't even spoken yet. Optimus was not pleased.)

(Wheeljack picked me up and brought me close to his face to ask me questions, ever the mad scientist/inventor. At least, I think they were questions. He hadn't learned english yet.)

(Ultra Magnus just sort of held me in hand staring at me while he talked with Optimus and the others. I stared back. He has nice eyes, even for an Autobot.)

Rule #14 If you want to go on a road trip, ask me first.

(Sam, Miles, and Bumblebee.)

(They wanted to see the Redwoods in California.)

(Apparently Cybertonians can't comprehend an organic life form being taller than them.)

(The trip is planned for October.)

Rule #15 Myth Busters is banned from base.

(Jackie gets ideas. Those don't end well. He is a mech after my own spar-. I mean heart.)

Rule #16 Leave Barricade ALONE.

(Just because we have his weapons doesn't mean he can't still hurt you.)

(Mech got claws glitches.)

(Oh, and no one likes a grumpy Miles either.)

Rule #17 Optimus should only be pulled out of recharge if someone is either dead, dying, or the base is under attack by Decepticons.

(Poor mech doesn't get enough sleep as is.)

(Optimus: While I appreciate your concern, I am always able to take time out of my schedule, night or day, for my soldiers. You know that Katherine.)

(I know Boss Bot, but you need your rest more than anything else. You are the 'bots' morale.)

(He just sighed and nodded, before walking away. He looked sad for just a millisecond, but it was there.)

Rule #18 While I commend you for your Holiday Spirit, please refrain from requesting a weaker willed autobot to shoot off fireworks.

(Even if they do look super cool.)

(Sam, Miles, Leo, Sharsky, Fassbinder, Will, Epps... Myself. The whole shebang.)

Rule #19 Actually, no fireworks ever without the supervision of at least one officer, exluding Jazz.

(He encourages stupidity to a whole new level.)

AND FINALLY...

*_whispers* drum roll please~_

_tatatata_

_tatatata_

_tatatata_

_tatatata_

_tatatata_

Rule #20 If you wish to survive more than a week in his presense should you get injured, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT steal his wrenches or incur his wrath in anyway, shape, or form.

(This rule needs no explanation.)


End file.
